I've Been Stuck In A Freeze Response For Years... What Do I do?
If you’ve found yourself asking this question, first know that you’re not alone, and you’re not broken. Being stuck in freeze response is one of the most misunderstood and isolating experiences someone can face, but it’s also one of the most treatable when approached with the right understanding and gentle, body-based methods.
What does it mean to be stuck in a freeze response?
When we talk about being stuck in freeze response, we’re describing a state where your nervous system has become locked into one of its most primitive and intelligent protective mechanisms. Unlike the more obvious fight or flight responses, the freeze response can be subtle and persistent, leaving you feeling disconnected, numb, shut down or like you’re watching life happen from behind glass.
Many people who are stuck in freeze mode describe feeling:
• Emotionally and/or physically numb or disconnected
• Physically heavy or “stuck in molasses”
• Unable to make decisions or take action
• Like they’re watching life happen to them rather than living it
• Chronically tired despite adequate rest
• Difficulty accessing their emotions or desires
Why does the nervous system get stuck in freeze response?
The freeze response gets initiated when a person is experiencing ‘too much overwhelm’, meaning they are experiencing so much sympathetic activation (fight or flight) than what they have capacity for. When this happens the dorsal vagal response (freeze) kicks in and the fight or flight energy gets trapped beneath the freeze.
It does this to protect you!
When we experience trauma, especially repeated trauma or trauma that occurred when we were young, our nervous system can become “stuck” or “default” into this protective state under specific conditions.
This is particularly common when:
• The the trauma involved fighting back or attempting to escape—was too risky & so freezing was the best option
• The trauma occurred in relationships where we needed to stay connected to survive (like with caregivers)
• We experienced overwhelming stress for extended periods
• Our early attempts to fight or flee were unsuccessful or punished
When someone has trauma stuck in a freeze response for years, it’s often because their nervous system learned that this was the safest way to navigate the world – even when the original danger has passed.
The body holds the key to healing
Here’s what I want you to understand: if you’re stuck in freeze mode, the path out isn’t through thinking your way out or forcing yourself to “just do it.” This approach simply just doesn’t work and can compound the issue adversely affecting your healing journey. The freeze response lives in your body through your nervous system, and is woven into your mind and spirit. If the body and your nervous system isn’t engaged, true healing might not take place.
As a somatic experiencing practitioner, I’ve seen countless clients who have spent years in talk therapy trying to understand their freeze response, only to find that understanding alone wasn’t enough. While insight is valuable, lasting change happens when we work directly with the nervous system through the body.
If you are feeling an internal desire to do somatic healing work you can learn more here.
Gentle steps to begin thawing the freeze
1. Start with small do-able steps
When you’re stuck in freeze response, the idea of big changes can feel overwhelming and actually can reinforce the freeze. Instead, focus on the next smallest doable piece. This literally is breaking things down into the smallest steps.
Ask yourself:
What is the next smallest doable piece? And allow yourself to just sit with that piece for a while. Not trying to push yourself or force yourself to do anything. But just being with it and feeling what that is like for you.
These micro pieces/steps help signal to your nervous system that it’s safe to begin moving forward again.
2. Work with your breath – but gently
Breathwork can be incredibly powerful for someone whose nervous system is stuck in freeze response, but it needs to be approached carefully. Start with simply noticing your breath without trying to change it. When you feel ready, you might try:
• Extending your exhale slightly longer than your inhale
• Breathing into your belly rather than your chest
• Pausing briefly between inhale and exhale
3. Find your support system
Healing from being stuck in a freeze response for years rarely happens in isolation. The freeze response often developed in the context of relationships, and it heals best in the context of safe, supportive connections.
This might look like:
• Working with a trauma-informed somatic practitioner
• Joining a support group for trauma survivors
• Connecting with trusted friends who understand your journey
• Working with a therapist trained in body-based approaches
4. Practice self-compassion
When you’ve been stuck in freeze mode, it’s easy to judge yourself harshly. You might think you’re lazy, weak, or broken. These judgments actually reinforce the freeze response by adding shame and stress to an already overwhelmed system.
Instead, try to approach yourself with the same gentleness you’d offer a scared animal. Your freeze response developed for good reasons – it kept you safe when you needed it most.
is Trauma holding you back?
Are you feeling stuck in life, disconnected, or somehow not yourself? Or maybe you carry a sense of unease in your body, struggling with anxiety or a feeling that something isn’t quite right.
As a somatic experiencing practitioner I specialize in helping people process and release stored trauma through gentle yet effective methods.
Download my FREE guide “Get Unstuck! The Truth About Body Trauma and How to Break Free’ and learn how to create the future you deserve.
When trauma has you stuck in a freeze response for years
If you recognize that your trauma = stuck in a freeze response for years, please know that healing is possible. Nervous systems are designed to change and heal and have an innate drive toward health and wholeness. Sometimes it just needs the right support and approach to remember how to move freely again.
Working with trauma that has left you stuck in freeze response requires a practitioner who understands that the body holds both the wound and the cure. Traditional talk therapy, while valuable, often isn’t enough on its own because it primarily engages the thinking brain rather than the nervous system where the freeze response lives.
Creating safety for your nervous system
The most important thing you can do when you’re stuck in a freeze response is to create consistent experiences of safety for your nervous system. This isn’t about convincing yourself intellectually that you’re safe – it’s about giving your body experiences that allow it to feel safe.
Some ways to create nervous system safety include:
• Establishing predictable routines
• Spending time in nature
• Engaging in gentle, rhythmic movements like walking or swaying
• Creating a physical environment that feels nurturing
• Working with a practitioner who understands nervous system healing
You’re not meant to stay frozen forever
If you’ve been asking yourself “I’ve been stuck in freeze response for years, what should I do?” – the very fact that you’re asking this question is a sign that part of your system is ready to begin thawing. Your nervous system wants healing and integration, and wants to engage with life fully.
The journey out of freeze response isn’t linear, and it requires patience and the right support. But with gentle, body-based approaches that work directly with your nervous system, you can begin to reclaim the aliveness and authenticity that the freeze response has been protecting.
Remember: you developed a freeze response because you’re intelligent and adaptive. Now, with the right support, you can help your nervous system learn new ways of being in the world – ways that allow you to feel both safe and alive.
Brianna Anderson, SEP
I’m here to help you heal so you can begin to live the life of your dreams
My private practice specializes in helping people who have endured trauma, resolve the symptoms out of their body, mind & spirit so they can feel comfortable in their skin, find inner peace and live the desires of their heart.
I am based out of South Orange County, Ca and offer online therapy sessions. Whether you are just starting your healing journey or ready to try something new, I am here to help.